Lineups always have this air of competitiveness and scarcity. When I'm out in the water, I'm trying to "get mine" while also trying to avoid pissing anybody off while also feeling like most folks are similarly guarded. Like there's this uncomfortable silence and tension as we all wait for the next wave, silently plotting and positioning ourselves. I'm not saying everybody is like this, but it seems like the default at least in California.
And yet, we're all just kids on a playground, and the whole point of this is to play around. Given that , and that outside of the water, we are adults, why aren't people less competitive and friendlier? Why is there so little of the attitude of "go for it, I'll get the next one"? Surf etiquette scares beginners because it's this confusing, repressed silent code of conduct that is somewhat followed but rarely talked about until you're being yelled at after the fact.
Why is this the predominant culture in the lineup? I'd argue that it's because there tends to be a ~9:1 gender split of men to women. And when one guy is being a greedy, it makes other guys greedy too, and before you know it, we're fighting over waves like a bunch of passive aggressive hyenas.
Let's get more women into this sport. And in the meantime, let's be more adult, more friendly, more patient, more giving. There are rules, and rulebreakers should be fairly penalized. But we're full-grown adults on a playground, and you'd think that we'd behave a bit better than we did when we were eight years old and whining about who gets to go down the slide.